Outrageous Courage – a book review

When I received an email offering me a chance to read and review Outrageous Courage, I jumped at the opportunity. I love missionary stories, especially the modern day tales that show how God is working today.

The subtitle of this book is: What God Can Do with Raw Obedience & Radical Faith.

Wow, does it deliver! The story of Tracy Evans, a woman who decides to follow God wherever He leads, is beyond inspiring. Tracy follows God to a garbage dump in the Philippines. Out of all the stories, this one touched me the most. Vivid descriptions of what it’s like to barely eke out an existence on top of a pile of rotting garbage. Afraid to get close to children in the camp because you have no idea which of them will die that day from disease or malnutrition. One of our sponsored kids is in the Philippines and I cried, thinking she could have been one of those children. The Philippine stories hit close to home even though I’ve never seen that life myself.

What can God do if you follow Him without reservation? Miracles! People were healed who were hours away from death. A dead woman was raised to life. Essential supplies were provided even though the funds were not available. Tracy’s story was amazing to read. I finished the book in under 24 hours and found myself wishing there were more of her stories included.

There is a paragraph toward the end of the book that really has me thinking.

I would rather die boldly than live as a coward. I would rather take a step, even in presumption, than stay frozen in uncertainty and insecurity. Too many times I have stalled out in mediocrity, thinking I was waiting for God, when actually I was just hiding in fear. As someone once said, you cannot steer a car unless it is moving. I have come to trust that God will guide me, but unless I am in motion, He will not do what He does best! (Outrageous Courage, 145).

My husband and I had a really long discussion on stepping out in faith versus waiting for God to give you a green signal. Which is correct? Or are both attitudes toward life correct? However you look at it, it’s hard to deny that God is working in Tracy Evan’s life. What will He do in my life if I start trusting Him even more?

Thank you to Chosen for giving me a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions in this post are my own!

Snow hat!

I’m so excited! Another Compassion sponsor has offered to hand deliver a small package to our sponsored girl in Thailand. I’m knitting her a hat and scarf!

My project so far has gone from this:

To this:

The hat is almost complete, other than seaming up the back side. I wish it had been written to knit in the round, but the pattern said knit flat and seam. All that’s left is the seaming! I’ve also started on the scarf but there isn’t really enough to show yet. I’ve been praying while knitting for her. I know our girl’s favorite color is green; I hope she likes the hat and scarf!

No news… still…

We have heard nothing from USCIS since we mailed in the extra paperwork they requested on November 15. We are stalking the mailbox, hoping for an approval or a request for a home study revision. Either of those would be fantastic!

Jeff calculated the average wait time for USCIS approvals and determined that we can reasonably call and request an update on December 18. Only two more weeks to wait until we can phone our case manager.

We did receive a piece of non-news. Our medical clearance requires the signature of an MD. Our primary care physician is an ND (naturopath). She suggested we ask our agency if Taiwan will recognize her signature as valid. The Taiwan facilitator responded that she has heard of paperwork getting sent back because the signature was not MD. To be on the safe side, we have to find another doctor who can complete this medical clearance form. I’m not very happy about it… I love my doctor and don’t like having to find a new one for just a visit or two. Oh, well. We will do whatever we need to do to get an approval from Taiwan!

Simply Jesus, a book review

I had such a hard time writing this book review. It wasn’t because I couldn’t figure out what to say. In fact, I had a hard time figuring out how to stop talking about it!

Simply Jesus was written by Joseph M. Stowell, the president of Moody Bible College. I will admit that I know very little about Moody Bible College and did not recognize Stowell’s name. I read this book with no preconceptions about the author’s belief system and enjoyed the book simply for what it is – a concise look at how to strip away our misconceptions and religious traditions about Jesus Christ.

We preach and teach about His will and His ways; tell His stories by heart; celebrate Him in worship; and serve Him with enthusiasm. Yet underneath it all (if we are truly candid), there is a gnawing sense that there should be something… well, more to this relationship (6).

Bingo. I feel that way. I was raised as a Christian, have read the Bible cover to cover several times, attend church most weeks, spend time in Bible study or devotional reading almost every morning, and still feel like I’m missing something. What am I missing? And why?

Jesus intends for you to experience the pleasure and reassuring peace of His presence at the core of your life. He wants to be more than just another volume in your encyclopedia of biblical facts. He didn’t die for you to simply strike a deal guaranteeing heaven. He died for you to make His own and to grant you the unspeakable privilege of experiencing Him personally (6).

Look! Here I stand at the door and knock.
If you hear me calling and open the door, I will come in,
and we will share a meal as friends
(Revelation 3:20, NLT).

First, so there is no confusion, keeping clear ledgers in our lives is basic to experiencing Christ. As long as there is residual sin in our hearts, there will always be distance. In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Matthew 5:8). And the tenses in that pronouncement are not futuristic but present. In other words, if you are not pure in heart today, don’t count on experiencing Christ in a compelling way (12).

Ouch. The author gives examples of bitterness, unresolved anger, sensual thoughts and actions, pride, untruthfulness, or slander and gossip. I struggle with selfishness, a quick temper, and a harsh tongue. Does that mean that I cannot experience Jesus on a personal level until I conquer those things? Or can I experience Christ more and more as He continues to mold me into His character?

The author showcases this text as a way to cleanse our hearts:

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there by any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.
Psalm 139:23-24

Stowell next talks about what two attitude shifts are necessary to help the believer experience Jesus. The first attitude shift is to always rejoice in the Lord.

This is what the Lord says:
“let not the wise man gloat in his wisdom, or the mighty man in his might, or the rich man in his riches. Let them boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord who is just and righteous, whose love is unfailing, and that I delight in these things. I, the Lord, have spoken!”
Jeremiah 9:23-24, NLT

Boasting is a healthy activity when it centers on Jesus. You can introduce Him to others with as long a string of superlatives as you want. You can list His accomplishments, cite His wonderful qualities, talk constantly about His kindness and mercy and love, and sing His praises for the rest of your life … if you and I are ever going to experience Jesus in the way we love to experience Him, we need to learn how to get beyond ourselves and our achievements to get all the way to Him. We need to cultivate a reflex response that immediately triggers gratefulness and praise to Him for enabling us to accomplish what we do… when something good happens in life… when we’ve performed well and received a few strokes… when we’ve been acknowledged and affirmed… when our fondest dreams have come true. When we are blessed, we need to master the response that takes that spark of joy we feel about ourselves and lets it explode into the joy of celebrating His preeminent provision and grace in our lives. The moment you do this, you connect with Him and lose yourself in His abundant goodness.

The psalmist tells us that He inhabits the praises of His people (Psalm 22:3, KJV). Strangely enough, it doesn’t say that He inhabits our complaints or our self-serving compliments. If you heart is full of complaining or self-pity – or of self-congratulating applause – you won’t experience His nearness. Positioning our lives to experience Jesus requires seeing beyond the blessings and burdens of life … to fill our hearts with Him alone. In the process, we learn the sweet skill of boasting on Him, regardless. He inhabits the praises of His people. Meet Him there (28).

This is definitely something I need to cultivate in my life. I remember to praise God for the good things that happen but it is not always immediate. My first response is to celebrate and embrace the joy. My second response is to bow in gratitude. I do think this order needs to be reversed; first I need to thank God for how He just blessed us and then enjoy the blessing. I know I’m getting better at this, but it’s still a delayed response to thank God. When we received news of orphanage approval, I danced with joy and then later prayed to thank God for granting us the approval. I hope that eventually my first thought on receiving good news is, “thank you Lord for blessing us so greatly!”

The second necessary attitude shift is to value Jesus above everything. Stowell gives several reasons why this is important, but this is my favorite reason.

And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith
Philippians 3:9

At the Cross we are placed ‘in Him’… apart from ‘being found in Him,’ we could not approach the throne of God in prayer. We could not draw near to the majestic presence of our God without being instantly vaporized. But covered in our Lord’s own righteousness, we can approach a holy God with confidence and worship Him without fear. We can share our deepest thoughts and longings, knowing that He hears and cares. And we can find grace and mercy to help us in our time of need (35).

There were a lot of other quotes that I highlighted as I was reading through the book. It really made me think about why I sometimes still feel so distant from God even though I try to do all the right things. I wish I had received a physical copy of this book instead of an e-copy (as I much prefer turning pages!), but am grateful for the opportunity to have read it. It will definitely be a reread at some point in the future.

Many thanks to Random House for a copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinions. I received no compensation other than a free e-copy of this book.

December!

November was a hard month. It seems like most of the month was spent waiting. Waiting for paperwork. Waiting for approvals, some of which arrived and some of which we are still waiting for. I was stressed a lot. Having my future in someone else’s hands is really, really hard, especially when it’s coupled with a complete lack of privacy. I feel like our personal, medical, and financial lives have been turned inside out and placed on display for the American government, our social worker, our adoption agency, and a Taiwan orphanage. I knew it was going to happen but wasn’t prepared for the roller coaster of emotions.

For a few weeks, I forgot to live the life I have now. We don’t know what the future holds. There are no guarantees that we will receive approval to adopt, no guarantees that we will have a daughter in 2014. But right now, I have a life to live. I need to continue developing my relationship with Christ, embrace my role as a wife, and encourage our sponsorship kids to the best of my ability.

December is going to be better! I am so thankful that December is here. We’re not buying a Christmas tree or presents this year but I still plan to make the most of the holiday spirit. I love the holidays, from the cheesy holiday films to the Christmas music to the peppermint mochas to the light displays. Here’s to a wonderful December and a memorable Christmas!

Lord, I believe!

I have been very remiss in posting recently. I’ve had an awful lot on my mind and haven’t felt the drive to write it down.

Why is it so hard to trust that God knows what He is doing? I feel as if I am having to relearn a lesson about letting go of my worries and trusting that God will take care of us. I cannot change a lot of things in my life. I have very little control. I wish I could translate knowing that God is in control into feeling like I can remain at peace.

We have not yet received our immigration approval, even though we forwarded the additional paperwork they requested. I’m nervous that we’ll get denied, even as I am confident that God has our daughter in His hands. Why can’t I let go of the stress of the unknown when I know God has a plan for us?

I don’t know how many miracles I have to experience to avoid stressing out when something goes wrong or doesn’t follow my plans. I keep reminding myself that I am a work in progress, that God isn’t finished with me yet. I’m so glad He doesn’t let go of me, even when I don’t always trust Him fully! I know He’s there. I know He loves me. “Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief!”

Weekly Goals

Last week I had several goals:

1. Finish “easy” portion of the dossier paperwork. DONE!
2. Get creative with meal plans. Nope. Ran into serious back pain the second half of the week and defaulted to easier known meals.
3. Start working on my knitting for my girl in Thailand. DONE!
4. Write up book reviews. Half done. I finished reading my review copies but need to finish writing the reviews.

Not too bad for a week’s worth of work, considering I spent two days curled up in a chair wishing my back would stop screaming at me.

This week’s goals:

1. Finish writing book reviews.
2. Complete the first half of my hat. Ultimate goal is to have the hat complete by the end of November.
3. Schedule an appointment to get my eyes checked. I have to include my vision info in the medical paperwork for the adoption.
4. Visit the police station to request a local police clearance for the adoption paperwork.

That should keep me plenty busy!

Something to be thankful for

A working dishwasher! Our dishwasher broke almost two weeks ago and we had a new one installed this evening. I’m so happy! We finally have enough plates and bowls that I can actually use the dishwasher once a day and won’t have to pull things out of it to wash by hand and use again. My challenge this week has been to keep the kitchen spotless, washing the dishes after each meal and making sure everything was put away instead of leaving it on the counter. I really love having a clean kitchen and having a dishwasher again will make this so much easier!

Many thanks to the homeowner and the property management company for arranging for a new dishwasher to be delivered and installed!

A few of my favorite things!

Chinese learning resources, that is!

Peggy Teaches Chinese is awesome. She’s actually from Taiwan, so she speaks with a Taiwanese accent and uses a few idioms local to Taiwan. Plus, she uses traditional (written) Chinese in her videos, as opposed to the simplified version that mainland China uses. I haven’t watched many of Peggy’s culture videos yet, only the beginner Chinese lessons. I’ve already learned a lot. Because our future daughter is from Taiwan, learning from a Taiwanese speaker is very useful and rather hard to find.

I love this dictionary. It allows you to switch between traditional and simplified Chinese characters, has audio for each of the words, and tells you what level of proficiency testing that word falls under. That way you know if you’re learning a common word vs a highly specialized or rare word.

I use Yabla to help correct my pronunciation of various sounds in Chinese. It’s especially helpful when you’ve been studying for awhile and start muddying the sounds together…

And, last but not least, I’m using LearnChineseEZ. I really like this resource. The native Chinese speaker is very clear in her enunciation so I can follow along with the Pinyin. The grammar starts off really easy, explains the grammar point, and then uses it in a few sample sentences. Then it adds more grammar and vocabulary words. You can switch between Standard Pinyin (the official spelling for Chinese characters, or Hanzi) and EZ Pinyin, which I believe is the website owner’s creation to help make Pinyin easier. My only complaint about the website is that there is no Hanzi version of the lessons, only Pinyin. After awhile, I find Pinyin starts running together and I forget vocabulary. Hanzi is easier in the long run, much as Kanji is in Japanese.

*Legal Disclaimer: I am posting about LearnChineseEZ, in part, to gain access to the member’s only lessons (so that I don’t have to pay for them!). But I do highly recommend the website for a beginner to the Chinese language, regardless of the free content offer. I honestly believe this is a worthwhile resource and much of it is already free.

All of the above resources are free! I also found another free resource through my library but have not yet started it and therefore can’t recommend it. I’m not sure how far free resources will take me, but I’ll be using them as long as possible! I will probably have to purchase a resource at some point as I really need to move beyond absolute beginner level so that I can communicate more effectively with our future daughter.

This week’s plans

I can’t believe we’re already over a week into November… It’s almost time to start thinking about New Year’s resolutions! Ha!

This week, it seems most of my plans (that involve other people) have fallen through. So it looks like I will be having a rather quiet week at home. With that in mind, there are a few things I would like to get done.

1. Continue working on the dossier paperwork. I would like to have all of the “easy” stuff done by the end of this week, mostly cover letters for various documents, a couple letters, and some forms. That way we can start work on getting medical clearances.

2. Get creative with the meal plans. I unintentionally overspent last week and have very little money left to last until payday. Oops. Normally we would go ahead and spend additional money, but we’re saving for all of the dossier fees and don’t want to fall short because we overspent on food…

3. Start work on my newest knitting project, a gift for one of my sponsored girls. I have been extremely blessed in that someone who is going on a sponsor tour in January offered to take a gift for me. SO EXCITED. Normally we can only mail paper gifts (bookmarks, stickers, etc). A lot of those who go on the sponsor tours will take a gift from other sponsors and someone going to Thailand kindly offered to deliver a gift for me. I have to be done with the knitting project by the end of December so I’d better get started! I never thought I’d have the opportunity to send a very personal gift and am thrilled at the chance.

4. Write up reviews for my most recently finished books.

All of that, in addition to my Chinese studies, normal housework, and final Bible study tomorrow will keep me plenty busy! Our dishwasher broke a week ago so I’ve been hand washing dishes after every meal and waiting for property management to approve a new dishwasher. Thankfully, it’s scheduled for delivery on Wednesday! I will be doing a happy dance that evening!

Have a great week, everyone!