Changes – they are a’coming. We’re about to make some really big changes and I’m a bit apprehensive. It’s quite likely things will get harder for awhile but I’m hoping that life will settle down into a routine.
First change – schedule.
My husband and I have not had a schedule for years. He works from home and in the IT field. His hours are extremely unpredictable. Just this weekend, he worked all night Saturday night, took a nap on Sunday morning, and then worked all day Sunday. He and I are used to it but DoubleShot is really struggling.
Another mom emailed me and offered some advice. She suggested that I may have to be the backbone of our family in that our schedule will revolve around me. I will set waking up times and bedtimes and meal times. If my husband can join DoubleShot and I, great! If not, she and I will continue as planned. That way DoubleShot has a routine that she can count on.
Right now, DoubleShot and my husband and I are all floundering. DoubleShot has a semi-consistent wake up time, though it’s creeped back to 10AM. We’ve been letting her sleep in because bedtime is so rough. Unfortunately, I think this is enabling bedtime to be rough because going to bed at 10PM after waking at 10AM is a really short day. So we’re going start getting her up much earlier. Hopefully she’ll be worn out by the end of the day and actually go to bed at 10 instead of causing delay after delay so that we’re finally getting lights out at midnight. My husband and I get up between 7 and 8 each morning and while he can survive on seven hours of sleep per night, I cannot. My body requires 9-10 hours of sleep and I haven’t gotten that much in quite some time.
I also have to work on a daytime schedule, picking set mealtimes. I’ve really struggled with this because not everyone has the same appetite. If I’m not hungry at lunch, should I force myself to eat, skip the meal entirely, or push it back an hour? What about DoubleShot? If she’s not hungry when it comes time to eat, then what? I don’t want to force her to eat, but I’m also not a short order cook. I don’t want to make lunch for my husband and I, only to cook again an hour or two later. We don’t have a microwave, so it’s not like I can just pop something in to reheat when she’s ready.
I’m also going to make a list of activities that DoubleShot can do. We’re doing fairly well with limiting electronics now, though we need to make some changes there as well. That’s another story for another post, but things are going better now than they used to be. She’s ok with being told she can play computer games for half an hour. So I need a list of what other things she can choose from – reading, crafts, etc.
Worked into the schedule, Mama needs some time to clean the house on a regular basis. We do not have assigned chores yet, though DoubleShot will voluntarily jump in and clean with us sometimes. On Friday, she scrubbed our shower so well that it’s cleaner than it’s been since the day we moved in. I was really impressed! She likes to help me in the kitchen and is getting really good at making fried eggs. I need to pull her into the kitchen work more so that we can spend some productive time side by side.
The whole idea of a schedule is new to me as I haven’t had one in years. I’m sure we’ll go through several different schedules before finding one that works for all three of us. But I want to try. DoubleShot needs some consistency. I need my sanity.
Good luck with the schedule. It should make a big difference. We don’t have a microwave either and lunch is usually sandwiches. Our little one (7) eats at meal times, but is allowed a small snack, nuts or crackers or fruit in between meals, but not too close to meal time if that makes sense.
I wonder if your daughter may also have fearful of the dark and or many bad dreams (or night terrors which can be common between 2 and 12). Best wishes on your schedule.